AHAHAHA OKAY. The funniest thing just happened. A canvasser for the Democratic National Committee came to my door! Oh, it was hilarious to be on the other side of the conversation, even after canvassing for only a few days. And he had a really quiet observer along with him. I told him that I'd done canvassing for Environment California and it turned out he'd worked there too, and I ended up giving him money and volunteering to help out a little while I'm in Colorado. I can't help it, I'm so sympathetic towards canvassers now!

Also, in even better news, I went to the doctor and she thinks I have just a routine stomach flu type virus, which is only freaking us out so much because of other health problems. I am definitely going to Hawaii. In fact, she said it was the best place for me to be, and that I should really probably go NOW and just relax as much as I can and stay hydrated. So THAT makes me really happy, because canceling the trip would not have made me (nor my brother) very happy.

Of course, having a diagnosis didn't help to settle my stomach, but it's lifted my spirits a bit. And I feel less bad for missing work because she said that it often takes people out for about a week before they start getting better. It's been exactly a week today, so from here on out I should be feeling better.

Well, from the stomach flu, anyway. It looks like I might have PCOS after all; apparently the birth control can normalize testosterone levels. So much for getting my hopes up about that, but in an odd way it makes me feel better, because I had the same gut feeling about it that I do now with the Cushing's. My gut feelings are not always wrong!

And I had a good nap, a proper one, in the middle of the day for about an hour. Maybe I should make a habit of that, at least until I start feeling better. And I should also eat, since I haven't done that much today.

Didn't get to stop at the bookstore, though, because my mother ended up driving me to the doctor; we DID, however, stop at Benjamin Moore and pick out paint colors for when the house gets painted while my brother and I are in Hawaii. I picked out a dark, sort of dusky rose color called raspberry glaze for three walls of my room and a lighter pink called potpourri for the last wall. The ceiling and trim is going to stay white. Very different from my current minty green, but the paint's getting all old and funky and it's definitely time for a change.

Which reminds me! sir_yessir wanted to know about the stuff on my walls on the follow-up Q&A meme thing, but I only have his three questions, which won't make for much of a video. If you have questions, ask them now, because I'll be leaving on Monday for vacation and will hopefully film that before I go (even if I look exhausted and horribly sickly on camera).

Vag, I won't be on until later tonight probably, because I need to do some serious cleaning of my room and reading the books for my paper. But it sounded like you might be going to Comic-Con for preview night, or something? Anyway, I'll be around in three or four hours or so -- depending on how long I last with the cleaning and dinnertime, I guess -- and maybe we can start some QAF. ♥

Everyone else, I really, REALLY hope your week is going better than mine. -hugs the f-list-

+ Since I'm stuck at home in bed a lot of the time, I could really use a new book. I haven't gotten properly absorbed in a book in far too long! I have a doctor's appointment at 2:30 today and I'm thinking I might stop at a bookstore on the way back -- not sure which, since Cody's is out of business now, so I might have to look up bookstores that are sort of on the way. I already have 1984 -- my parents had it, and I'm thinking I'll start that this morning -- and I ordered The Fountainhead from Amazon, which will be here on Friday. But I'll need beach reading for Hawaii too, and plane reading, and I'd just really like to have a stock of new, good books to occupy my mind -- maybe that'll get my inspiration back just a bit.

Oh! I forgot that I have The Princess Bride. angelchld3, do you still want to read that along with me?

+ It looks like I should give that package that I tried to send home from CO up for lost. They sent me a very, very belated notice that they'd only found the paper wrapping of it, which had apparently fallen off the package, and I filled out the lost form, but they haven't gotten back to me. I don't think it was insured, unfortunately, and the stuff in it couldn't have added up to more than $20 -- including some things that I don't want to spend money on again, like the Twilight books -- but, whatever.

+ Speaking of packaging I should wrap up another one to send and get that in the mail today. Which is an incredibly boring sentence to put in here, but if I don't write it down I'll forget it.

+ I have an unnatural craving for noodles. Specifically, my grandmother's sesame noodles. I have NO IDEA WHY. (But I am making myself some as soon as I finish this post.)

+ I need something fun to do, Christ. ( Cut for meme-filled boredom )


( A TV fandom meme, contains info from ALL OF SUPERNATURAL AND ALL OF DR. WHO )

One last post tonight, because I just KNOW I'll forget this stuff by the morning.

( No fucking clue when the Dr. Who finale came out, but I'm cutting this JUST IN CASE )

And speaking of Vag, I have promised her one of those incredibly cutesy "OMG LOOK HOW PERFECT MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER IS" posts (cut to save the more delicate stomachs, I promise) but that will have to wait a bit. Mostly because I'm sort of SAD right now and also still feeling shitty from whatever bug has got me now, and actually seriously considering quitting my job.

The pros? More time to relax before I leave, pack up and get ready for Hawaii, and get my paper done. Also, not worrying so much about responsibilities I can't handle when it's obvious I'm still running at somewhere around 60 or 70 percent. Dear god, I want this thing diagnosed AS SOON AS POSSIBLE so I can get whatever it is the fuck out of my system.

The main con to quitting is my pride. The money would be nice, of course, but it's actually not that much money; it'd end up equaling maybe $150-200 more by the end of the summer and I've already earned more than that. But I hate, absolutely hate, being unable to follow through with things once I make a commitment to them, and this whole health disaster has been plagued with things that I start and can't finish. Yet, I've been absent from work a week, and isn't hanging around sick and not doing anything worse than quitting (if it doesn't mean that they're going to fire me anyway, that is)?

Gah, I don't even know. I guess I'll see how I feel tomorrow and what my parents think. The doctor on call that my mother phoned tonight seemed to think that I had some kind of sinus infection, which was causing the headache -- which basically says to me that my immune system has gone to hell, since it's busy trying to destroy my thyroid and fighting off whatever else is wrong with me. That's a comforting thought.

I suddenly and inexplicably miss Vanessa, and Domino, and my great aunt, and all the other people that have died recently. Like, miss them a LOT. I don't know if it's my own fear of what's happening to me or whether some of the themes of loss in the shows/books/movies I've been watching lately have been hitting a chord, or whether I just feel so damn weak -- probably a combination of all of the above -- but I haven't missed them this badly since their respective deaths and anniversaries.

It also might have something to do with the fact that Ezzie has gone home, and there is no longer a snuggly little puppy sleeping on my bed. I am tempted to call Milo in, but he doesn't like sleeping in rooms with the door closed, and plus he takes up half the bed. I don't even want to think about how much I'll miss having a puppy around once I go back to school.

Blargh.

I have been a fairly productive prefect/HoH/geek/thing in the last few hours, and now I'm at a loss of what to do. I feel like I should STILL be productive, but all things that are actually important are evading me. I have a week to write my paper and pack up my room so that my parents can get the walls painted while my brother and I are in Hawaii, so why would I do it now? I never work well without having a title of responsibility (i.e. prefect/HoH), a close deadline to put pressure on me, or guaranteed instant gratification/amazing long term results, otherwise things seem unimportant to spend my time on. Which is my excuse for being a lazy ass, really. Sigh.

My mother popped a flat tire on one of the cars while driving home from her camping trip, so I had to bike to the doctor for my appointment and then to the tire shop to get the car, so I was relinquished from dog walking duties for the day. Also, I may be very sore/tired tomorrow, since it is the first time I have gotten that intense of a workout in a long while.

There is a significant lack of delicious sugary things that I'm not supposed to eat in this house. Bah.

Aaaand I'm going back to work tomorrow :|||| I think I can handle it again, but I'm still not really looking forward to it.

On the health front, my appointment today was inconclusive, as I guessed it would be. I was mostly just telling my physician what the endocrinologist had discovered; she doesn't think I look like I have Cushing's, because they have this certain look about them (she called it a "moon face") but I think if she knew what I looked like a couple years ago she'd probably see the difference. My mother thinks that my face/neck have gotten significantly fatter and rounder over the last couple of years, and I agree. (Oh hey, look, I actually have a legitimate reason for using freshman year pictures from college; that's what I'm SUPPOSED to look like! And you guys have seen me on camera, so it's not quite cheating.)

I was about to say that I'm not tired and then I just yawned. Hugely. So maybe I am, and just hyped up on productivity and the closeness of the Hawaii trip and... um... other things. *coVAGugh*

I need new icons, as usual. Non-HP related ones.

Anyone seen any good memes about?

I snuck a container of mint chocolate creams past my dad at the cash register when we went to Trader Joe's today, and of course now my stomach decides to be all upset (before eating them, bah). Hopefully it'll settle down so I can enjoy my treat.

I'm beginning to think I did actually catch some sort of bug and that it's not all in my head (maybe it's an opportunist, feeding off my stress level) because I think my dad's got it now. And there's no reason why he'd catch stress from me, so... apparently I'm just sick. I don't know whether to be relieved about that or not.

And since I have very little else to say, a meme, stolen from maybe_someday8: write 10 things you would never say to the person or people you mean them for. they can be positive, negative or simply a paranoia you have that is related toward them directly.

( Some of these may be more obvious than others. Not everyone on here reads this LJ, even. )

EDIT: Ahhhh, Doctor, stop making me CRY. :(((

I finished rereading The Lovely Bones (yes, I know, slightly morbid) last night. Which is odd, because I started it ages ago; it's taking me forever to finish books anymore. Not because I read any slower, but because I read for smaller amounts of time, and not as often.

I think that's incredibly sad. But next on my list is Silent Spring by Rachel Carson, that ought to engage me.

And the plan I decided upon last night: no work today. No work = more time to write essay, and if that fails, then no work also = time to write a letter to my mother so that I don't have to talk about everything face to face.

My sore throat has not gone away, and though I've been completely faking the fever, I still do feel sick. Pretty sure it's all in my head, but the sleep is nice, all the same.

Ezzie and Milo are getting along better. At least, Milo hasn't done anything except sulk a little and try to eat her food (but in his defense, Ezzie tried to eat his first). We even got them both to cuddle up on the same bed.

My f-list is full of good reviews of The Dark Knight. Clearly, I need to see that movie. And Wall-E. And... there was something else, I think.

Back to bed for a bit, I think, and then work time. *yawn*

Or not. Apparently the cleaning of the kitchen has been left to me. Fun times.