( rant about my mother that you should seriously skip )

( a meme, to distract myself )

vaginasaurus needs to come home from work and watch Dr. Who with me and cheer me up. Also AHAHAHAHA YOU CHANGED YOUR JOURNAL NAME. Okay, I might be stalking you a little while you're away (TURN AROUND). :D

*sigh*

Today is a good day for me. I've felt more energetic and motivated this morning than I have for a long, long while.

And what better mood is there for a nice rant? ;D

First off, the context: who among my f-listers have seen the various chain emails, each describing an incident in which a woman was raped/injured/harmed by a man (usually a gang member, as a part of an initiation rite), that have been circling for years? I once got the one about the gang member who hides under cars and slashes women's ankles, rendering them helpless, and then drags her off.

Today, I saw one about a gang member who got into the back of a woman's car when she was inside the gas station paying for gas, and had plans to kidnap her to be raped by the whole gang.

Scary emails, of course. That's the whole point. But here's what they don't tell you:

I have seen this at least five times, and in none of the emails do they ever provide a link to a newspaper article which would give evidence that the scenarios they describe actually occurred. NEVER. Yes, there is evidence for gang rape being part of gang initiation (at least, I got a fair number of legitimate looking hits when I googled it), but to go about warning women this way is entirely counterproductive.

Here is some more interesting information you get when you actually look stuff up: In a 1999 longitudinal study of 3,000 women, researchers found women who had been victimized before were seven times more likely to be raped again.

The reason why is because once a woman becomes a victim, they lose confidence; predators can tell whether the woman they're going after is afraid. If you read this sort of email, and go around worrying constantly about a man jumping into your backseat or slashing your ankles, the less confidence you are presenting to the world and any predators who might be (but in most situations, probably aren't) watching.

Honestly, people. If you're trying to make the world a safer place for women, you don't go around scaring them, you motivate them. Organize a kickboxing class for them to take, or better yet, tell the people who would attack women that THEY should be afraid to initiate violence, for fear of getting their fucking asses kicked. Don't tell the victims to be more worried.

Yeah, it'll make you scared, and yes, the advice they give might make you more careful. But you shouldn't have to be so goddamn cautious -- you should feel confident and safe and empowered when you step out into the world, and that will prevent you from being attacked even more than the silly advice they give you in this sort of email: If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most attackers surprise their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.)

I'm not saying you shouldn't pay attention to this at all, because this sort of thing might be relevant to a teeny, tiny portion of the population. But instead of being worried and perpetuating the problem, learn how to defend yourself in a way that will make you a stronger, more confident person. Don't fall for this shit, seriously -- it's only making it worse.

ETA: Actually, I'm pretty sure the man in the backseat is an urban legend, or at least a scary movie cliche. I have to head out now, but if you have evidence for this, plz to be letting me know!

( A copy of the email that got me so heated, so you can see it for yourselves. )

Seriously, if they want to worry me, show me a series of articles from a respectable newspaper or journal, with first-hand accounts and statements from the police. Even then I refuse to be paranoid about it (I have enough paranoia about my own health), but I won't believe any of this without evidence.

OMFG. OMG.

I just almost overheard my mom and my brother talking about YouTube and porn. Those were the only two words I caught, and my mom saying something unintelligible in her "I'm going to have an awkward talk with you now" voice, and my brother (understandably) getting irritated with her.

I DID NOT WANT TO KNOW. I fled to the shower and filled my ears with the much lovelier sound of water pouring on my head.

Granted, my family is pretty... out there when it comes to sex and nudity and stuff (my parents like to walk around the house naked; me and my brother are a little more modest, thankfully) but GOD. It would almost be capslock_spn worthy but I'm a little afraid of the places CAPSLOCK would take my mind.

So. Awkward.



Now that I've gotten your attention... HP FANDOM, WHERE ARE YOU? I know I've been lame about RPing and writing, but I'm still trying. Two of my sorting comms, lumos_sorting and diffindo_elite, are suffering from inactivity. I think hogwarts_elite is only staying alive because it's so effing HUGE.

THIS IS NOT OKAY WITH ME. HP fandom, come back. Be active. I missss you.

I refuse to pick up another fandom until you are active again. Please? I promise to stop being lame (well, as much as possible). You are my first and favorite fandom, you can't die!! D:

If Twilight is responsible for this, HEADS WILL ROLL. I'm sorry (wait, no I'm not), that book is fun, but so not worth it. C'mon, now.


ETA: I feel like everything is not showing up on my f-list. This is worrying. I know for a fact there are comms that have been posted in recently that have not shown up, mostly icon comms. THIS IS NOT OKAY. :O

Oh, god. Just reading all the wank surrounding LJ's stupid election makes me sick.

Yeah, I voted for legomymalfoy because a lot of my good fandom friends supported her and I wanted a good fandom representative on the board. I also have a few VERY anti-legomymalfoy people on my f-list (luckily, none of them actually watch my journal, I don't think) who wanted me to vote for jameth.

The truth is that I really don't particularly care much about who wins, I just want to be able to use LJ for what I use it for now -- RL stuff as well as fandom things. Hence voting for a fandom representative. Yeah, I know there are some sick fandomers out there, and plenty of examples of bad fanfiction for fandom-haters to throw at us, but god. Can you really expect me to like someone with supporters like this? Getting drunk and going around calling people pedophiles is worse than writing about fictional characters, if you ask me. Even if I didn't read/write fanfic, your stance would not appeal to me in the least.

(Also, I really love the people that stood up to him/her and others, mad props to you. I'm staying the HELL AWAY because just reading your comment threads makes me a bit sick to my stomach.)

Yes, I'm crossing my fingers right now that none of those crazy drunkards find my LJ. It's my nice, safe corner of the internet. Plz to be leaving me alone, I don't like your kind of wank. (And if you do find your way here... the other kind of wank is really much more gratifying. You should try it sometime.)

On a brighter note, I really do hope things get a bit better for fandom. I think I might be in the minority in thinking that the underage sex part in fanfiction (especially teacher/student, incest, and chan) is sick and wrong and not how I want to think of the books (although there are some Bellatrix pairings with much younger people that I like, because they ARE sick and wrong, so even I'm not innocent), but dude. I know people who had sex by the time they were 13, way more sex than I've had in my life, in fact. And they don't see anything wrong with it, either. It happens.

Here's to hoping they stop painting everyone with the pedophile brush and take their drunken anger to the actual, real life child molesters. *resists urge to point fingers at the Catholic Church, not very successfully*



... I know, I know. I'm getting all ranty again. I should take myself away from the internet until I cool off.

I know this is a controversial topic, and many of you may not agree with me. But I must say, my least favourite kind of conversation (especially when I have no way of excusing myself from it) is when my mother sits around with her friends and they talk about being mothers, having children, &tc.

Well, that part's not so bad in and of itself, though I have very little to contribute to the conversation. It can be embarrassing hearing my mother tell stories about me when I was little. But I'm even less interested when they say things like "the best thing I've ever done was have a child".

I really, really don't get that. At all. I know, birth is certainly wonderful and amazing, and yes it makes you a fitter organism in terms of evolution -- congrats on making it to reproductive age and being fertile, and all that -- but it seems so odd to think that it's the best thing you've ever done. Once you've given birth, everything becomes about the child. It's not about you, it's about you and the being that's dependent on you, and frankly that doesn't interest me at all. I have enough of my own problems without dealing with a child's, there are too many things I want to do that I would have to sacrifice for a child, and when it comes right down to it, my genes are really crappy anyway and it's not like I'm passing on my name.

More importantly, I don't want to join that category of mothers. I don't want my every conversation to have to involve my child, I want to have conversations about science and writing and things I'm passionate about. If I was a turtle that could simply climb up on the beach, lay my eggs, and have done with it, I don't think I'd mind so much. But I have never understood the logic of growing fat and wobbly and then going through incredibly painful labour just for something that will tie me down.

Yes, I want to fall in love. No, I wouldn't mind getting married. But I don't strive for it; it's not my goal. And I hate when people tell me "Oh, I thought the same thing when I was your age. You'll change your mind." Yeah, I might want kids at some point, but I don't see it as the end all be all of accomplishments. I don't like it when you're judging me for it, either.

If that's the one greatest thing you did in your life and you're satisfied, more power to you. I don't want to be like you. You are not my role model. Stop assuming that you are.

SDLFKJLSGDFLHGFDKJHJSD I AM SO SICK OF HAVING TO AVOID MY F-LIST TO PREVENT GETTING SPOILED.

STOP IT WITH THE SPOILERY ICONS AND THE PUTTING REACTIONS OUTSIDE OF LJ-CUTS, F-LIST. PLEASE. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE AN LJ-CUT, LEARN.

I JUST SPENT A LOT OF TIME WAITING FOR THE FINALE AND GETTING ALMOST SPOILED AND I AM NOTNOTNOT HAPPY. AT ALL. NO, THAT IS NOT A SPOILER, I'M UNHAPPY WITH THE SPOILERS.

I AM SO FUCKING TEMPTED TO CUT EVERYONE WITH THE BAD SPOILERS AND FILTER THE ONES THAT AREN'T QUITE AS BAD. IF I CUT YOU FROM MY F-LIST, THAT IS WHY.

JUST LEARN SOME FUCKING MANNERS AND BE COURTEOUS ENOUGH NOT TO RUIN IT FOR EVERYONE ELSE. *STABS THINGS*


on a side note, i have downloaded the finale and am watching it for the second time tonight. if you want to talk to me about it i am on AIM/Y!M/MSN NVM, forget it, I'm exhausted and pissy and you probably want to talk to me about as much as I want to stay awake.

Just in case... THERE MAY BE SPOILERS FOR 3x16 IN THE COMMENTS. That's how you do it, bitches.